It’s hard to conceal my ire. I was so proud of how this Reverb cardigan was turning out. The purple yarn was lovely. The pattern was easy to follow. I knew the cardigan would look super-hip on, and would go with most of my wardrobe. But the button band betrayed me.
I don’t have any experience with button bands. So far, I’ve managed to avoid knitting cardigans that require buttons. I pretended that I preferred the open look. But the truth is, I was afraid of the button band. And now I know I was right. Button bands are pure evil.
- Button bands stretch unpredictably and throw off your measurements. 4 inches between button holes. Oops, looks like you have 5. 5 is ok right?
- Button bands lull you into thinking five buttons will do…until you try on the cardigan and realize you really need seven.
- Button bands keep you from appreciating your brand new very pretty cardigan because something is just slightly “off”.
- Button bands are so hard to satisfy. Put the button too far to one side, and the whole thing stretches like a scallop. Which would be nice if that was something I wanted. An artistic statement, prehaps. But it’s NOT.
- Button bands wait until you have the cardigan all blocked, with the ends woven in, to speak up and tell you something is wrong.
- Button bands remind you that your stomach is not as flat and firm as your dress dummy’s stomach. They’re rude little buggers.
Stupid riggin’, friggin’ button band.
Here’s the cardigan. You can see the issues I’m talking about.
I guess it’s time to remove the button bands, reknit them, and do the finishing all over again.
But not now. Not today. Today I shake my fist at the universe.
Tomorrow I’ll take apart my cardigan.