Once again, it’s time to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day, which takes place every year on September 19.  

What better way to do it than with a tribute to that most piratical of knitwear patterns: arrrrgyle.

As I mentioned in me last argyle post:

Origins of argyle

What’s a celebration of piratical knits without a mention of that most piractical-sounding of patterns, argyle. Argyle is a pattern made of diamonds, often including an overlay of intercrossing diagonal lines. It derives from the tartans of Clan Campbell in Scotland. When knitted, argyle is usually done in intarrrrrsia.  *Ahem.* Intarsia.

Bonnie, classy arrrgyle

This sort of arrrgyle will  never go out of fashion. That’s not an opinion, you understand. That’s a personal guarantee. Anyone I catch retirin’ this arrrgyle …well, they’s just askin’ fer a fight.

That said…

<yawn>

There’s got to be more excitin’ choices to be had. Somethin’ with a little more vim and verve to it.

Arrrgyle with some kick 

Now here’s some arrrgyle a  pirate can appreciate. Bold and daring colors, with a hint of my favorite hue: gold.

How about some sassy arrrgyle for the lassie waitin’ fer you at home?

Clingy and cute, with a sweet neckline. This pirate approves.

Arrrgyle for restin’ yer arse

A pirate works hard all day, every day. The sailin’. The pillagin’. The boozin’. The duelin’. At the end of a long day, a pirate needs a soft place to rest his tired old arse. Me eyes appreciate the homelike charm. Me backside appreciates the plush stuffin’.

Socks to inspire fear

There’s nothin’ worse than cold, wet feet when you’re preparin’ to storm a dockyard or board a ship. A pirate needs a proper pair of thick, woolen socks.

Bonnie, sweet arrrgyle, like that green pair I showed you, are all very well in the middle of the sea where no one but your men can see you. But during a battle, a pirate needs to look a little more threatenin’. Green arrrgyle? They’d just laugh at me. Then shoot me.

For sock that inspire fear, look no further. You see all those skulls?  Each one represents an opponent who met an…unfortunate end.

So, mateys. How are you celebratin’ this magnificent holiday?