In Which I Stomp a Project Into Submission, then Launch it Into the Stratosphere


I messed up a knitting project this weekend. I mean really messed up. The kind of messed up where I realized that, somewhere along the way, while I wasn’t paying attention, I had nearly doubled the number of stitches I was supposed to have on the needles.

And I wondered why this shawl project was taking so long.

So anyway, I really did fantasize about throwing my project onto the floor and stomping on it. Then coming back with a pair of golf cleats and stomping on it some more. Then, strapping it to a bottle rocket and launching it into the clouds. The obliging bottle rocket would then set the whole thing gloriously on fire and the ashes of my benighted project would rain from the heavens.

So what if I don’t own any golf cleats?  I could probably make my own with a pair of old sneakers and some thumb tacks. I’m a crafty kind of gal.

So did I do it? No.

After I was done with the first few rounds of revenge fantasies, I sat down and frogged my project, then started again.

Aren’t you proud of me? No pyrotechnics? Only a little bit of weeping.

What do you fantasize about when you realize you’ve messed up a project?

11 comments

  1. I’ve contemplated using one or two as cannon fodder… Problem is wool doesn’t really burn, just smolders. So my practical side kicks in and I know I’d have a way bigger issue on my hands than a naughty project… So I just banish them to perpetual time out.

  2. Arg! I fantasize about giving it to the cat to tear apart, eat and then throw up as a hair ball! There really is nothing worse! I feel your pain. I just restarted a shawl because it didn’t have any pm and I got off by a couple of stitches!

  3. Meat cleavers…in a grand presentation that would make the owners of a Benihana proud.

  4. Haha, I love that catapults is one of the leading answers. Apparently I am just not creative enough. Fire is my most frequent fantasy, but the reality is usually throwing it in a corner (violently, often with some cursing and tears) and then refusing to look at it until I forget why I’m mad at it.

  5. I have a doozy of a finished disaster planned for Friday.

    I am usually too lazy to frog something, but I’ll whinge and lament no end when it’s finished but not up to standard.

      • And your mention of Fargo makes me think of so many other ways to murder a project that has it coming.

        Knifing in the shower a la Psycho.

        Sticking it into a car trunk, parking the car on a frozen lake and waiting for the ice to melt in the spring…what move was that again?

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